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I lie to myself a lot.
They are not fully lies, but they’re stories that are not true.
And the reason I tell myself these stories is that I can’t handle the truth. I think I want the truth, but I don’t. An example is how I say I’m peaceful, yet I can be rude (verbally) to people (sorry Kate…).
Rather than hold the truth (a contradiction), I tell myself a story of how work can stress me out, and everyone gets angry now and then. This helps ease the tension created by the contradiction of my actions and what I believe. They call this cognitive dissonance, the anxiety or stress we feel when we hold two opposing truths.
Contradictions are inherently good. It’s healthy to learn how to hold opposing truths. Let me show you this through an example of people experiencing homelessness:
Our system (life) has taken advantage of them in ways that prohibit progress. They also could learn critical skills to improve and get a job, but they don’t.
Both are true because they’re cause and effect. Because society has slighted them, it’s far harder for them to learn and maintain the critical skills useful for progress. It’s a contradiction. Yet I find joy and progress in holding the opposing truths and leaning into the confusion and mystery.
I believe this gets us to a “solution” quicker. By holding the contradiction, we get closer to reality to make the changes needed for positive progress.
Before I go further, let’s dive into the word, contradiction, and where it comes from. Doing so will help us better understand how we can live with contradictions, enabling the space for growth.
It’s a noun (surprise!). It’s from the late 14th-century meaning, "objection, opposition; hostility, mutual opposition," also "absolute inconsistency," or "a reply, objection, counterargument."
Contradiction began in a very different place than how it’s used today. But it still rings true. I enjoy how a contradiction is almost akin to contrarian(ism) in the 14th century. Here’s the evolution of the term:
For 318 years, we’ve had that final definition. So we will stick with it moving forward. But before we do, I want to touch on the 1400 meaning as I LOVE it’s implications.
Too many times we’re afraid or avoid the opposite of what we believe.
If I’m a Christian, rarely will I engage with Atheist or other counter opinions. The list of why is endless. Many, like me, never see the benefit. And in the end, they do much harm as their beliefs are built on a poor foundation.