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One thing promised in life is cracks (divisions).
In our lives and relationships. And sadly, many allow these cracks to widen, eventually becoming chasms too large to cross. I'm guilty myself.
I was let go almost a year ago, and I don't have the courage to talk to the person who let me go.
I can't build a bridge across the chasm to move forward together, causing suffering as I hold on to my side of the (widening) gap.
I was listening to a podcast emphasizing community. One of the community's powers (or benefits) is the ability to grow in ways impossible on your own.
One way is that you can clash with community members, and rebuilding those relationships builds you. You don't have the luxury of meditating in a cave by yourself.
There is a word for rebuilding in relationships: reconciliation.
<aside> ℹ️ The act of causing two people or groups to become friendly again after an argument or disagreement.
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If you know me, you know I love understanding the root of words. It's insightful to understand where a word began and where it's at today. So, where did reconciliation come from?
<aside> ℹ️ mid-14c., reconciliacioun, "renewal of friendship after disagreement or enmity, action of reaching accord with an adversary or one estranged" (originally especially of God and sinners), from Old French reconciliacion (14c.) and directly from Latin reconciliationem (nominative reconciliatio) "a re-establishing, a reconciling," noun of action from the past-participle stem of reconciliare (see reconcile).
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Going further back, reconciliation has origins in the Bible (2 Corinthians 5:18-19). It's translated from the Greek word "katallage," which in the New Testament refers to re-establishing an interrupted or broken relationship.
This mainly happens with humans and God. Putting this concept as a critical element of Christian soteriology, the study of salvation, as it encapsulates the idea of humans being brought back into a right relationship with God.
In 1729, it was described as an "act of harmonizing or making consistent." And that's how we get to the current usage of it being a bring back of two or more humans into a health(ier) relationship. And it's critical in this context as well. We will be far from peace and joy when we allow division to rule.
But now (at least from Google), it carries another (similar) definition: The process of finding a way to make two different ideas, facts, etc., exist or be true simultaneously.
At its core, what is conflict? I believe it’s two (or more) stories that have challenges coexisting. Conflict is the inability to allow those two stories to exist. Either person is unable to accept the other’s story.
Now, if there is (outright) abuse, that’s a different story. Find help. And in the end, you may never be able to (or want to) allow their distorted story to be true.
For many, it’s minor conflicts that we struggle to see the other’s side (e.g., he should have taken out the garbage). When we see and embrace the other’s perspective, we are closer to saying, “I’m sorry.” We can open our view to include their story, making rebuilding easier as we aren’t the only “victims.”